Different people have different strengths and it’s important to play to those strengths. Mark Zuckerberg is an introvert but was very good behind the computer. At the same time however, he was willing to build relationships and put himself out there. When you can acknowledge your strength and tap into areas that might be uncomfortable you become stronger.
It has been found that extroverts are more likely to be self-employed. “Extroverts have a stronger dopamine response, meaning they get a bigger kick out of achievements like a job promotion, a new romance, or a successful business launch.” They are more inclined to take risks based on the anticipation of the reward when things go well.
Below, I want to share 3 things I have personally experienced and learned about the benefit of being willing to get out of my comfort zone and talk to people.
Let’s face it, it’s easier when you don’t have to put yourself “out there”. Nobody likes rejection of any kind.
It’s like the boy who’s afraid to ask the girl to dance because he doesn’t want to face potential rejection. We can guarantee one thing in that situation. By not asking the girl to dance, the boy 100% guarantees he will not dance with that girl and rather than feel pain from rejection he will likely feel pain of regret later. That was never me of course (wink).
No matter what your core strength is you will only benefit from building relationships.
Life is just better when you have a network of reliable support but it’s not just about receiving, it’s about giving without the expectation of something in return. You have to be willing to do both.
Many people may feel this is common knowledge but it’s amazing how many people don’t take action.
1: The Mental Game
Show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.
This is a tricky one and could get me some criticism but it’s worth discussing so hear it out. We don’t want to judge people but who you surround yourself makes a difference, a big one. I have learned this first hand over and over. It is said that if you calculate the average of your closest 5 or 10 friends total income it will reflect your income.
Think about that for a minute. How is this possible? Why do people like Tony Robbins study successful people and learn from their success? They are studying how they think.
The environment around you triggers thoughts and those thoughts trigger action or lack of. What you think matters tremendously. Energy is very contagious between people. So, if you surround yourself with people that see opportunity in everything and are progressing in life then that will rub off on you and lift you up.
They got those good vibrations!
So, you want to spend time with and talk to people who are doing what you aspire to do.
If you ever played sports you might have noticed you perform better when you hang out with the best guys on the team. If you hang out with the people that complain and really don’t perform well, you will be dragged down with them.
This applies in anything you do. I have experienced it first hand many times with wrestling, golf, snowboarding and business. At the end of the day, the people around you are the people who are influencing you. They are putting ideas—good or bad—into your head. They are the people you’re learning from and getting better with. So get amazing people around you each day!
You’re probably thinking, yeah great, but how do I do that. It’s not hard, honestly. You might have to get our of your comfort zone as they say and ask someone out to coffee or maybe starting commenting and sharing on their work. Then you can reach out for a reason you think up and connect. If you have a business, maybe you can help their business in some way and start a conversation. Get creative, try different things. The important part is to try.
For example, Since I run a magazine, I offer to include someone in the magazine or be on our podcast show. From that point on we chat and they are in my network. We help each other on other projects, share connection and advice. I even have asked at least 20 people to have coffee with me to learn about managing a content calendar when I first started. Most said no, a few said yes.
2: Deeper Relationships
Having a connection with someone that you might talk to once or twice every several months is one thing, but building a strong relationship is another.
You can’t be everyone’s best friend but you can and should create deeper relationships with a few key people.
Some people will deeply align to you in their mission and values. You will naturally be attracted to that and rightfully so. The challenge is that we all get so busy we forget to nurture the relationship and put out the effort to connect in person or get coffee. However, I have learned that these relationships can be very powerful. You will help each other out on much greater levels.
To be honest, my life has propelled forward only because of great friendships and people who cared about me. They lifted me up. Of course, I always wanted and did what I could to help them as well. It was not a strategy. It’s not about taking advantage of someone. I’m just acknowledging the power of a good relationship and calling it out to you so you stay conscious of it and don’t forget to put the effort out to build strong bonds.
Who are you more inclined to help out, someone you know in passing as an acquaintance or someone that you have connected with deeply as a friend? Of course, you help your good friend.
Have you ever gotten a discount because you know someone, or maybe you got a job or even a promotion at work because your boss was a friend who was more willing to push for you to succeed?
As the saying goes, “it’s who you know, not what you know”. Build a strong support system, help others and they will help you.
3: Speak up and the Universe Just Might Respond (law of attraction?)
If you have a vision for your life you should write it down, talk about it, make a vision board, whatever you can do to bring what’s in your mind into the physical realm and begin sculpting it.
Without a vision you are playing darts with out a dart board.
Be willing to talk to people about that vision as much as possible no matter how crazy it may feel. Tell them what your dreams are and what you love.
After all, if it’s your passion it should be top of mind and all you want to talk about anyway.
I usually talk to everyone about what I’m thinking and listen closely to their feedback and responses.
Several years ago before Change Creator, I was looking for insights and advice from another entrepreneur and as always picked that persons brain and told them my thoughts. A couple years later, I got a call from that person who offered me a partnership in a great new opportunity.
He said, based on our discussions he knew it aligned with me and that I would be a good fit. What if I never opened my mouth?
Research has also shown that being more extroverted in daily behavior can lead to more positive moods.
So step out of your comfort zone, talk to people, listen to people, help people, and build your tribe!